Friday, August 28, 2009

Judgement and Letting Go

Today was another wonderful day. I've definitely kicked whatever was making me feel bad a few days ago, and now I'm feeling strong and energetic.

Since today was another Zumba day, I was concerned with being stiff for yoga. I paid extra attention to the stretching portion of the cool down, and after walking home, I continued to stretch some more. I also had a massage scheduled today, but I'll get to that in a moment.

Zumba was so much fun - good friends, good music, and good laughs. It's *almost* possible to forget it's exercise! I'm getting more confident with the routines, which means I can enjoy the class more instead of trying to hard to keep up. And while I feel like I'm getting better at the cardio portion, I'm also sweating more than ever. I'm not sure I understand that, but it feels good, so I'm going with it.

When I went to my massage appointment, I asked her to focus on my back, between my shoulder blades. As she started working, she said it was obvious I hold everything there, emotionally and physically, and that I need to learn to let things go. At first I was slightly uncomfortable. I'd never met this woman before, and while she was very good at the physical portion of a massage, she didn't have a comforting demeanor about her. I felt like she was judging me, and I didn't like it. After a few tense minutes, I let it go though, and focused on relaxing.

Tonight I did another version of the Solar Flow Matrix, this time with a build up to shoulder stand. I'm not able to do a full shoulder stand yet, but I am definitely feeling a difference as I work on the poses to build the base. I'm not pushing myself to hard, and I don't feel bad that I can't complete a shoulder stand yet. It used to bother me in class when I couldn't do a shoulder stand at all, while everyone else perfected theirs. But no more. Just feeling the gaining strength makes me feel successful and full of purpose.

When I read today's Meditation from the Mat, it all came together. Here's what stood out to me. "Only when we act without judgement can we truly flourish in our lives... Before our bodies can open, they must first let go; the clenched and guarded muscles must relax. But the mind must let go first."

How's that for all of my concerns for the day coming together into one meditation? I could practically tie my day up in a bow! When I relaxed, trusted, and respected my body, I was able to enjoy Zumba more. When I went for a massage to work out tightened muscles, I was cautioned that I needed to let the emotions go first. And when I practiced yoga tonight, I realized how invigorating practice can be when you accept where your are in your practice, and don't judge yourself unfairly.

I'm going to bed tonight feeling strong, confident, and relaxed. :)


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