Relaxing, Day 2

Tonight, I practiced Yoga Nidra. I haven't tried Yoga Nidra in a long time, and I think it went pretty well. There was one glaring area of my body that I couldn't relax. My big toe. I find that comical, but it's true.  As my body relaxed, and I felt as if I was sinking down into myself, my big toe seemed to throb even more, and rise away from my body as if to shout, "hello, pay attention to me!"

I guess that means I need to pay attention to my toe! ;) I had surgery at the base of that toe years ago, and it's never been 100% ever since. I'm not sure if it took a certain level of relaxation for me to notice, or if it would have stood out like that tonight no matter what. Either way, I'll be giving it some loving in the form of comfortable shoes tomorrow.

I am continually surprised at the wide range of realizations that come to me during the different types of practices I try.  66 days of yoga has brought me up, down, and all around. And as usual, I am excited to see what comes next!

Namaste

Headache Relief

I'm sure I've posted about it before, but it really made an impression again today, so I'm writing about it again. And 'it' is using yoga for headache relief.

Today was another long, full day. Nothing went wrong, but it was full of tasks I don't exactly relish. I recognized that I was letting tension build, but after 3 hours at the vet, I couldn't seem to reign it in.

When I finally got home, I settled in for a 50 minute headache relief practice, and it was absolutely wonderful. My neck and shoulders feel spacious, much of the tension is gone, and most importantly, the pain is fading.

Yoga = Relief (in so many ways!)

Namaste

8 Weeks are Complete!

I am so excited that today marks the start of my 9th week of daily yoga. 8 weeks of practice have brought me far, and I am so happy that I have made this commitment, and stuck to it!

Tonight, I practiced on my own. I mixed basic Sun Salutations with a few things pulled from a variety of the DVD's I own. I basically made a yoga mix tape in my head.

It felt great to indulge in only the things I really enjoy, only the things that feel exceptionally good to my body. One of my favorite moves is from Rodney Yee's Power Yoga. Lying on your back, you rock back and forth up to sitting and back down gently, and then you expand the movement to rock all the way from Plow to Seated Forward Bend. It feels wonderful. I hear a lot of popping and cracking, but not in a worrisome way. In fact, I think my back might be realigning itself the way the chiropractor would!

To end, I used some of the breathing and restorative exercises I've been doing a lot of this last week. That wrapped my practice up in a neat little bow, and now I'm feeling really good. Strong but relaxed - that's the goal, right?

Namaste

Pranayama

Today, I focused my practice on Pranayama. I've been struggling this week with not feeling well - low grade fever, stuffy nose, queasy stomach, blah, blah, blah.

I realized that my breathing was suffering from this. Laying back and working through various breathing exercises combined with supine poses really helped me feel revitalized. I was worried my nose would be too stuffy for it, but it didn't pose a problem.

The best part of tonight's practice was breathing while twisting from side to side, every movement synchronized to the inhales and exhales. I felt like all the stiffness from spending so much time resting was getting squeezed out of me, like wringing a wet rag. And the movement really seemed to increase the depth of my breath naturally, and I think that's exactly what I needed.

I'm still feeling under the weather - after all, yoga is not a cure all. But I am feeling much improved after my pranayama practice, and I think that's an awesome result.

Namaste

Be Flexible

"Be Flexible to Be a Better You." The truth in that statement astounds me. Obviously in yoga, flexibility helps to deepen our practice. In other sports, flexibility helps us avoid injury, and allows us to accomplish more impressive feats.

But in real life, every day life, flexibility is essential to joy. As a military wife, I've found that if you go with the flow, take on each change and challenge, and make the best of it, you can be happy anywhere, in almost any situation. If you fight the changes, dig in your heels, and refuse to bend with the currents, you will find yourself to be miserable. Often.

I don't know about you, but I want to be happy, joyful. So I work on my flexibility, not just physically, but mentally as well. Thank goodness for yoga to help me do that!

Namaste

Teacher Training?

Today, I'm thinking about my career path, my passion, and what impact I want to make with my life. I have been considering yoga teacher training for a while now. Thus far, I put it off because I wasn't physically ready. As I get stronger every day with my daily yoga practice, I realize that it would be very easy to always think I wasn't ready. There will always be room for improvement, and weaknesses to overcome. So when do you know it's time?

There is an upcoming 200 hour teacher training session, starting in January. I think by January, with daily practice, I'd be up to the challenge. But the timing isn't great with the rest of my life. Signing up then would create a major scheduling conflict between my husband and I. But will there ever be a 'just right' time?

I was doing Power Yoga this evening, thinking about how I would change the routine if it were 'my' routine... does that mean I'm cultivating the teacher within? Or is it just time to switch to a new 'every day' routine?

I'm full of questions tonight, but not so many answers. ;)

Namaste

Jello Legs

I got behind in reading my Meditations from the Mat. Tonight, after an hour of Power Yoga, I caught up. While I appreciated everything I read, none of it stood out to me as particularly special, and none of it got my mind thinking in any one specific direction.

So, I've got two things to mention. One, I thoroughly enjoyed my practice today, and now I have jello legs from it being such a good workout. That's such a good feeling!

Two, yesterday I went to a wonderful concert, "Two Native Voices". Keola Beamer, a Hawaiian Slack Key Guitarist, and R. Carlos Nakai, a Native American Flutist, joined forces to create something beautiful. While I listened to the guitar, I was mesmerized. While I listened to the flute, I was intrigued. But when I listened to the third set, where they joined the two together, I couldn't help but envision myself practicing flow yoga to the music. The two sounds together created such harmony, and my mind went straight to yoga. There was something magical about it, and I can't wait to get the CD and start practicing to it. I feel very lucky to have been exposed to such beautiful, artistic native music.

Namaste

Wishing...

Tonight, I'm wishing I could keep the confidence and inner strength I feel doing yoga going all the time. I'm wishing, because right now, it feels so far from reality. I finished my practice tonight - a vigorous power yoga session - feeling great, feeling strong, feeling accomplished. But then I read something that upset me, and I lost that feeling in an instant. How do you get it back? Even better, how do you not lose it?

When I feel personally attacked, or worse, when I feel someone is attacking someone I love, my heart starts to pound, my breathing gets shallow... I guess it's some version of fight or flight. I don't like it at all, and I recognize that it's an unnecessary reaction. Why can't I breathe through it, focus on calm, see the trivial nature of the problem, etc.?

I was planning on coming here to post about how my neck and shoulder practice has released so much tension that I felt I could arch back in my standing back bends with much more ease tonight. And, my arms are getting so much stronger that for some chaturangas, I'm not using my knees - that's a huge improvement. But then I read that one thing... and I let myself get diverted.

Yoga is definitely not an easy answer, or a cure all for everything. I guess I should focus on the skills I have, and know that I'm working on strengthening them, and with time, I can hope to react better to stressors that really shouldn't stress me at all!

Namaste

Full House

We've got a full house for a couple of weeks. Family arrived today from upstate New York, and in a tiny 2br, 1ba house, double the people equals quite a crowd ! I'm going to have to be extra dedicated to carve out the quiet time and space for yoga for the next two weeks.

I squeezed in today's practice while my husband was en route to the airport. I don't like to think of yoga as something I 'squeeze in', but some days, that's just the reality. It's better than just pushing it aside completely, right?

With my arm sore from having the burn irrigated today, I focused on my legs. I deepened my lunges, balanced my strength between both legs, and really stretched those heels in downward dog.

It felt great to really work my legs, but more importantly, it felt like I was doing the right thing to choose to create that mental space in my head and in my heart.

Namaste

Right Action

Today's Meditation from the Mat is so good, I wish I could quote the whole thing! I am really enjoying this book, and looking forward to working through it with the same enthusiasm I have for a good fiction novel.

The entry today is all about the right path, the right action, and working towards knowing ourselves, and what is good for us.

I've heard it talked about so much on shows like Oprah, and in magazines, and I truly believe that the ability to say 'no' is a very empowering thing. We are raised, at least as women, to give as much of ourselves as we can. The more we are able to do, the more successful we are. As a person who loves to volunteer, I always feel a little guilty saying no. But I'm getting better at it.

In the last week, I've been exercising this ability. And I'm really working on not feeling guilty about it, as long as I'm saying no for the right reasons. If I'm saying no to avoid overextending myself, to avoid a precarious situation that I don't think is right for me, or to enable someone else to act and think for themselves instead of relying on others, then these are all good times to say no.

But I'm not saying no to yoga of course! Even with my arm hurting, and feeling a little run down from all the stress of the last week, I'm saying YES to yoga, which is of course saying YES to myself!

Today I practiced with power yoga again. It's amazing how a few 'easy' days to let my arm rest have shown their effects in the rest of my body. But it felt good to do a slightly more vigorous routine, though it was far from difficult. I'll build back up to that, and feel great while doing it!

Namaste

4 Weeks Have Flown By!

Today marks the completion of 4 weeks of my year of yoga.

Today, my burnt arm is feeling much better, so I decided to ease into yoga with "Yoga for Stress Relief". I'm feeling groggy from so much rest, so even though it's the evening, I did the 'Wake Up Slowly' Routine. I tried a modified down dog, but couldn't hold it for long, because it was too much stretching and pressure on my arm. But it still felt good to do it. I found I couldn't do the shoulder opener, with hands clasped behind the back, rising up. That was too much stretching of the wrist. It was a good practice though, and if nothing else, I am proud of myself for not giving in and giving up!

Namaste

Does Yoga Have a Rule of 3's?

I ask, because today I burned my arm, on the inside below my wrist. I did a pretty bang up job of it too. It's salved and bandaged now, and as committed to my practice as I am, I'm not going to be doing any downward dogs today, that's for sure.

But here's what I did instead. I used yoga in a practical way. While waiting at the clinic, they told me to stop icing it, which really made my pain level spike. So I used pranayama (controlled breathing) techniques I've learned in yoga to help me through it. I laid on my back, and did a body scan, just like in yoga nidra, and then used breathing to work through the pain, and wait patiently. I envisioned breathing into the wound, with the healing power of breath swirling around the pain and helping me to heal. It was a very calming exercise, even if it wasn't really a formal practice.

What better way to practice yoga though, then to use what I've learned to help me in life?

Namaste

Yoga is like...

Yoga is like hitting the reset button on a bad mood. Thank goodness for Yoga. :)

I just want to mention a few things I'm noticing. Camel pose, which I detested in the past, is getting easier, and more fluid. And my standing forward bend is starting to truly represent a forward fold, or at least it feels that way, like I'm bending into two perfect halves. And last but not least, today, I was able to catch those wandering thoughts, and toss them aside. Hence the reset button. I'm feeling much better now, and so happy that I have Yoga to help me work through the obstacles in life.

On another note, today's Mediation from the Mat says, "The truth is that any demon honestly met becomes a friend, and our friends should be treated wisely if we wish them to remain our friends." I'm not able to wrap my head around this tonight. Is a demon met honestly your friend because you learn from it, grow from the experience, and become a better person? But if the demon stays the same... then why would you want to remain friends?

Too much deep thinking... I'd rather ride the wave of calm that came with my practice tonight!

Namaste

Satya

I am an honest person. I've always prided myself on that. I avoid lying as much as possible, and being deceitful makes me uncomfortable, and unhappy. But there is one major exception - humor. I love a good laugh, a funny story, a great impersonation. If embellishing a story makes it more humorous, I do it. I usually admit to the embellishment after, and 'fess up to the honest version, with a big smile on my face because I love the funny version as much as I love the truth.

Today's meditation from the mat focuses on the second yama, 'satya' which roughly means truthfulness. According to the Yoga Sutras, "When the practitioner is firmly established in the practice of the truth, his words become so potent that whatever he says comes to realization." This is way I've always to live my life, even before I started yoga many years ago. I've always felt it important that people could know that everything I said was true and honest, and that what I say will come true, because I believe it and act on it. Again though, with the exception of humor.

When I first read the quote, I felt excited and peaceful all at the same time, eager to keep reading something that spoke so clearly to my heart. But then the author said, "Little by little we notice, and then drop, our old habits of embellishment, obfuscation, minimization, self-aggrandizement, omission, rationalization, and exaggeration." Wait... what? To fully embody satya, I have to drop my habits of embellishment and exaggeration? Where is the fun in that?

Because I've so often held being truthful in such high esteem, "sat, nam" has become one of my meditation mantras for inhales and exhales... meaning loosely "truth is my action". Sat, nam, sat, nam, sat, nam. I find it calming, empowering, and humbling all at once. But now I don't know... does it mean I have to be boring too?

I'm feeling perplexed tonight. Does yoga leave no room for humor in an honest life? I sure love a yoga class with a few laughs, and a life full of laughter, so I hope not. Maybe I need a new meditation mantra... sat, nam, lol. ;)

Namaste

On my Own, In the Quiet

Today I practiced silently. No DVD. No iTunes yoga mix. Just me, and the natural rhythm I'm developing by practicing every day. Me and the sound of my breath. I was happy to find how much more the breath comes into focus without the sound of a DVD, a CD, or a classroom full of people to drown it out.

I did my own version of yoga flow, with attention on continuous, balanced breaths. I did pretty good, until I fell out of a balance pose. That was my signal that I was tired, and I brought it to a close with some basic supine twists, and then relaxation pose.

It was a nice change, practicing in silence. So relaxing, and invigorating all at once.

Namaste

Power Yoga Vinyasa Flow

I feel good! And strong! Tonight, I did an intermediate Rodney Yee DVD - Power Yoga Vinyasa Flow. It was challenging, but it felt fantastic. I haven't been in Wheel pose (a full back bend) in a long time, so that was a nice change.

Huffing and puffing into that back bend reminded me of days when I could do back bends, walkovers, and all kinds of other gymnastics positions all day long without batting an eye. Where does that flexibility go? And when did I start to feel so heavy? I don't remember ever thinking 'Oh Gosh, my arms might collapse under my own weight' when I was a kid. I could walk around in a back bend like an inverted crab, and never felt too weak for it.

More importantly, where does that confidence in our bodies go? I never doubted myself, the thought of it didn't even cross my mind. But now, I'm filled with doubt. Will I be able to get up onto my head? Can I push up into the position? Can I hold it? Can I extend? Will I collapse? Doubt, doubt, doubt!

I did it though. It wasn't my prettiest back bend, and not my strongest. But I did it, and afterward, I think I was probably glowing with pride. Tonight my confidence got a boost, and self doubt got a swift kick in the ass.

Thank you Yoga!

Namaste

So Stuffy, So sleepy

Tonight, I sort of cheated, but I'm ok with that. I started a yoga routine, but I didn't make it all the way through. I stopped early, because I am just so darn stuffy and tired that it was hard to focus and relax. I think it's ok though. I have to respect where my body is today, right? And right now, it's headed for a box of kleenex.

Tomorrow will be a better day. What matters is I still practiced, even if it wasn't for as long as I had originally planned. Off to bed...

Namaste

My first problem in a pose

I encountered an issue today in a pose that made me uncomfortable. While in shoulder stand, I felt like I crunched something in the front of my throat. It didn't hurt, but it didn't feel right. I released, took a few breaths, and tried again, only to have the same exact problem. I adjusted my position, and tried once more, to no avail. I've balanced in shoulder stand many times before, and have never experienced this sensation, so I'm not sure what's happening.

I've been toying with the idea of a private yoga session, and this is making me consider it even more. I'd like to work with someone on fine tuning my problem areas. Practicing every day seems like it might exacerbate any bad habits I'm unaware of.

I had been hoping to sign up for a Yoga Basics workshop that goes into each basic pose in depth, discussing alignment, contraindications, etc. It's a series of two hour sessions for four consecutive Saturdays. But it's just not working out with my schedule. Since I won't be able to attend the workshop, I'm thinking one private session might give me the tools I need. This is where practicing at home gets dicey, when something doesn't feel right and there's no instructor to ask for guidance. I definitely can't afford to take a class every day, but I think one private session might give me a better base of knowledge to work with at home.

On another note, today's Meditations from the Mat said something interesting. According to the author, a guru was asked, "What will be the undoing of humanity?" and he answered, "The separation between you and me." The author continues to say that the first yama - ahimsa, or nonharming - requires us to abandon the notion of that separation. This concept boggles my mind, because I've always considered it a good thing to separate myself from those I feel have undesirable character and morals. Catholic education drills that into your head and your heart. It's almost too foreign a concept for me to really grasp, and I'll be thinking about it in the days to come.

Namaste

From Anger to Bliss

This evening I could feel anger welling up inside me, and I don't really know where it was coming from. I had no patience, no empathy. Even kittens were annoying me! Kittens!

I thought that it was a good opportunity to try the new Yoga for Stress Relief DVD that arrived yesterday. From the many options, I chose 'Evening Yoga to Quiet the Mind'. It was calming, but I was still not feeling at ease even after 40 minutes, so I added another sequence for quieting the mind that was similar to Yoga Nidra. The DVD guides you through a relaxation exercise that is very detailed and slow.

There is a certain point of relaxation that I actually find uncomfortable. When I did Biofeedback Therapy, I learned that I can relax my muscles beyond the point that most people can, but at a certain point, it begins to feel like a loss of control for me, and conversely, I start to get anxious. With this DVD, I actually got to that point of relaxation again, which is amazing. I've never gotten there without someone else guiding me into it. Because of Biofeedback, I recognize the feelings of unease for what they are, and can slowly take a few mental steps back to my comfort zone, which I did tonight.

Having completed the two sequences, I can't even imagine why I was so angry before. And I really don't even want to think about it! I just want to dwell in this sense of peace I have now, and enjoy it.

Namaste

I love Tree Pose

My mind was troubled when I started my practice today, so I focused on two poses that I know help me feel relaxed and centered.

The first of those two poses is Vrksasana, or Tree Pose. I've loved balancing in tree pose since I first started yoga. I used to stand by my Grandfather's hospital bed in tree pose, to help keep my emotions under control. I especially enjoy tree pose with my eyes closed. Balancing with closed eyes is usually more difficult, so it helps me to focus even more.

The second of the two poses I love is Virabhadrasana II, or Warrior II pose. I like lunges in general, but in Warrior II, I feel strength not only in my legs, but also my arms. And I find it peaceful to balance in Warrior II with my gaze soft over my leading arm.

I wonder if everyone has certain poses that they enjoy most for centering and focus. I wonder if most people find the same poses enjoyable for this, or if everyone prefers different poses. And, I wonder where the preference comes from. The only thing I can think of for me is cheerleading. Both Tree and Warrior II are positions that I am familiar with from many years of cheerleading practice. I used to balance on one leg all the time to prepare for stunts, and lunges are a key part in any cheer routine. Maybe it's that familiarity that helps me focus and center in those poses, since my body doesn't need as much guidance from my mind.

If you're reading this, I'd love to know what you think. Do certain poses help you feel focused and calm? Do you have favorite poses for other things?

Namaste