Tonight, I went back to the restorative pose series with the supported heart opener that gave me so much trouble earlier in the week.
I've been thinking about it since then, and tonight, I didn't have any of those same flashback thoughts. I think I relaxed a little more into the pose, trusting myself enough to open a little more. Mentally, I had no problems this time, but physically, I could feel my muscles pulling back, not wanting to give in and release their tension.
This doesn't surprise me. I have that kind of posture, the rounded kind with my shoulders caved in. That lends to tension in the small muscles between the front ribs. I had a massage therapist once who told me I had chains of tiny little knots running between my ribs like a rosary. She tried to work them out for me, but I found it much too uncomfortable.
So I'm going to keep at this position. Maybe not every day, but with some regularity. I'm going to keep telling my body to relax through breath, and see if I can get some of that tightness to release on my own.
I'm still in the Aparigraha stage of Meditations from the Mat - it's all about letting go. So I'm going to try to let this inner defense mechanism of curling in and guarding my heart go too.